Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
