GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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