I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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