Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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