I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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