I used to practice getting hit by cars.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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