Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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