Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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