We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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