Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize