Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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