and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
