he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
