sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
