its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
