please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
