Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
