i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
