You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize