at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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