Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
