You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
