After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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