i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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