? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
