Pappa wants mamma naked
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Randomize
