How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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