Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The Olympian is in my bed
Congratulations! We have a period
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