there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Randomize
