I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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