i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
