Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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