wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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