Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
