If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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