My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
