can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
