I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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