So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
