Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
