So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
