Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
