just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
