I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize