What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
