Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
