pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
