Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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