Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
