if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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