I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
