can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
