Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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