After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
