You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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