We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
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