kristin has been a bad kristin
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
