That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
