i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
