We won't sleep together?
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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