So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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