Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
