OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
