I showed him my bush... on skype.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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