im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
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