Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
