he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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